I see that you don’t want to sit down. You don’t want to process pain. Your anger is a mask for fear. MAN UP! Forget your stress, depression, and your sadness. Oh yeah! Forget the thoughts that are connected to your feelings. Be a man! Come on, teach yourself manhood!
You might try through social media, books, movies, tv shows, or YouTube, but these outlets don’t give you the right example. The reality is that some men are walking a thin line between having a psychotic break and sanity, and don’t even know it. Not to burst your bubble, but you can’t teach yourself manhood. If the Bible is true than we know that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. But what does it mean to be double-minded and yet have the mind of Christ? I mean, is that even possible? Let’s see, God created man with a unique ability to process situations more concretely or logically. Men have so many thoughts that our brains process every day that we can get overwhelmed easily. It’s a fact that we were created to make decisions like these:
● Hunt this animal for food and not this one.
● Protect the family by fighting or getting them to safety.
● Ask her to marry me now or wait until I talk to her dad.
Women and children count on us to be decisive. God created us this way specifically so that we could protect and provide for our families. Our capacity to think and compartmentalize thoughts makes it tricky to know if we are truly being double-minded or just weighing two different thoughts in wisdom. I say this because you have to be able to distinguish soundness from confusion.
Now confusion comes very subtly to men when we do not have enough information to make a decision. Asking questions will lead to clarity, but first, there is the humble action of being honest with yourself and asking for HELP!
I won’t lie I need help. Listen, help is not a handout, it is a hand to pick us up and get us back in the battle. If you’re down I’m missing protection and my brother. The mind of Christ is sound, that’s proof positive that a sound mind is required to make proper decisions. For real, think about how Jesus thought and acted. Literally, sit on that for a moment.
5 min later...
Ok, let’s be honest, the thought of having a sound mind sounds nice but for many of us, it feels out of reach. But really it isn’t. Here’s the situation. Your brain is made up of cells and tissue that hold neurons. A neuron is a particular cell that can hold electricity and send it to other neurons in your brain. As neurons send electric currents back and forth, neurological connections are made. Neurological connections are responsible for the beating of your heart, digestion, and your ability to understand sound as language. The real beauty in this reality is that your brain never stops changing. As you experience different phenomena over time your brain adapts and changes based on the memories that are created.
So then, what I’m saying is rooted in 1 John 3:24 ESV, Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us. So, we follow his commandments to develop experiences. The practice of experiencing God by keeping (doing) his commandments become memories. Those memories become our stabilizing force, causing us to be sound minded. Think of an elite athlete who practices the same exact move over and over again. When it’s game time this athlete doesn’t have to think much about how to make his signature Sports Center top 10 play. Elite athletes can do this because they’ve built muscle memory. The same is true and possible with Jesus’ commands. If we keep doing them, they will become second nature to us. And just so we are clear, 1 John 3:23 ESV lets us know what those commands are. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as He has commanded us.
That being said, I know all too well that it is not easy to become a man. I was blessed with a dad that fought to be in my life. I have a great relationship with my younger brother and great examples of men around me. Despite all of this, I still struggled to grow into manhood. It was like putting together a puzzle with no directions and missing pieces. That’s why I write you this letter. I want you to know that as you read the Bible, especially out loud over yourself your brain will begin to develop new neurological connections. These connections create different, more profitable habits for your body. It’s true reading, hearing, and doing the word of God physically changes your brain over time! So, rest assured, you will become a man, and not just any man, but a godly man if you commit to the process. Psalm 16:8-9 ESV says I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore, my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.
I leave you with this bro. You can build muscle memory that is righteous unto God. Your brain can be sound. You can walk holy as God is holy. You can even have your whole being celebrate Jesus and his commands. Your flesh is like a 3-year-old. Give it good structure and simple rules and it will fall in line quickly. Jesus’ commands are not burdens. Being a man is not a burden to run from, it is a reward of life that you can earn. This is your calling for real! Peace!
Your brother,
Jeremy
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A native of Columbus, Ohio, Jeremy graduated from Ashland Theological Seminary with my MA in Mental Health Clinical Counseling. He currently works with children and families at Buckeye Ranch.
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| Jeremy Thomas, MA, LPC |
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