Alcohol. Heroin. Cocaine. Methamphetamine. Fentanyl. These are the name of drugs that have wreaked havoc in the lives of addicts and their families alike. I grew up as an eyewitness to the chaos as the son of a kingpin. But God. For the last 11 years of my life, I have devoted my energy to developing a more vulnerable relationship with addiction by serving as an addiction counselor. During this time, I have worked as a patient care assistant and a counselor. In those capacities, I have heard the stories of addicts of all ages. From thirteen to eighty, there was a common theme of hopelessness and despair that threaded them all together.
As a student of the Bible, I couldn’t help but think of Proverbs 13:12 (NKJV) which says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”. The Message Bible says, “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick”. In case you are unfamiliar, many addicts say, ‘I’m sick!’ They are referring to the physical sickness that they feel as they are going through withdrawal, but more importantly, there is mental and emotional sickness present.
Ninety percent of my patients shared during the initial assessment that their addiction stemmed from a physical injury that involved treatment with narcotics. Ten percent shared that it was a combination of peer pressure and experiencing an overwhelming amount of disappointment in their lives that led to addiction. Minor injury resulting in addiction. What a staggering thought. No one is exempt from experiencing a bodily injury and when it happens a loss takes place. Loss of time from work, loss of ambition and perseverance, and a limited loss of their life’s vision can also take place.
For those who are members of the body of Christ, there is almost always blame put on God, followed by “Why?” Believers that struggle with addiction have a hard time reconciling the reality of their situation with the truth about God. Many describe feeling that it was the "just" God that caused them to be in an unjust situation. These feelings will often lead to social isolation. Believers may continue to remain in their community of family and friends but mask their inner hurt and rebellion. The lack of authenticity leads to shame and guilt which serve as barriers to transparency. The lack of transparency causes further withdrawal from people and avoidance of situations where their secret may be discovered. It is easy to see how these individuals may think that their situation is hopeless, and so they continue to hide and their addiction progresses.
For those who are members of the body of Christ, there is almost always blame put on God, followed by “Why?” Believers that struggle with addiction have a hard time reconciling the reality of their situation with the truth about God. Many describe feeling that it was the "just" God that caused them to be in an unjust situation. These feelings will often lead to social isolation. Believers may continue to remain in their community of family and friends but mask their inner hurt and rebellion. The lack of authenticity leads to shame and guilt which serve as barriers to transparency. The lack of transparency causes further withdrawal from people and avoidance of situations where their secret may be discovered. It is easy to see how these individuals may think that their situation is hopeless, and so they continue to hide and their addiction progresses.
I personally struggled with fear of transparency and had to take drastic measures to ensure that I would not travel down the road of self-isolation. To address my issues, I met with a group of Christian brothers every week. Those meetings helped me to kill the shame and guilt that had me bound. You see, although I have never struggled with illicit drugs, I was addicted to pornography for many years. Much like those facing drug addiction, my addiction had its genesis in many years of unrelenting disappointments. Sharing my pain with a trusted group of friends made all the difference for me. They became a community that brought about much-needed accountability, which by the way was a point that I often shared with my clients. There was a “Call Before You Fall” phone list that was put into place. Around that same time, my pastor would say from the pulpit, “You have more to reach out for them to hold on to”. Those words and that group helped me dig my way out.
In my counseling practice, I openly shared how my personal journey dealing with sexual abuse and getting my heart broken in relationships when I was always faithful, among other things, led me back to a computer screen for emotional and mental relief. As a result of what I had experienced, I instructed them to discipline their disappointment which is very pivotal. This is something I had to learn by letting go and living in the freedom that was made possible for me by Christ along with allowing the Holy Spirit to help me with self-control.
As Christians, it is important to remember that we will experience diverse types of tribulations as we are striving to live as godly individuals (2 Timothy 3:12). Yet we must also hold on to this truth: Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4). When we do not have confidence in ourselves or our process we can still have confidence in the blood of Jesus. He paid the price for it all, and in Him do we have hope eternal.
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| Preslin Issac BA, CDCA |
First generation Haitian-American, Preslin graduated from World Harvest Bible College and Ohio Christian University with a degree in Addictions Counseling. Currently an M.Div student at Ashland Theological Seminary and Chaplaincy resident at Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital in Barrington, IL. Preslin spent eleven years working within the addiction recovery community in Central, Ohio.
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