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By Ashlee V. Grant (2019) Being a wife is one of the most rewarding yet challenging roles I’ve been in, to date. Honestly though, I can’t think of anything that is rewarding that doesn’t come with its own set of challenges. Can you? I must admit, prior to being married I didn’t think it would be as difficult for my husband and me to get on the same page. We hear it all the time, it’s like two totally different worlds colliding. We came from two totally different backgrounds, grew up in totally different cultures, with two totally different ways of doing life. For the last three going on four years, we have been trying to figure it out together. We bump our heads constantly and get on each other's nerves, but we are locked in.

We both understand that marriage is not about our happiness, although we get to enjoy being happy together. The purpose of our marriage is to bring us closer to Christ. Let me explain. Just because we have the head knowledge of what marriage is, doesn’t make it any easier. We still have to bring our flesh under subjection daily in order to live out and love that truth. Christ has to be the center of our marriage. Christ being the center is so much more than what we’ve been taught. Christ being at the center of our marriage means that everything flows from His will and His will is for us to know Him, to be intimate with Him and to prepare for His return.

Marriage is that mirror to show us what that looks like. Marriage is choosing every day to lay your life down, love when it hurts, and allow your iron to sharpen the iron of your spouse. Marriage has been the greatest tool for sanctification used in my life to date. There is no one who is closer to me than my husband. No one who sees my weaknesses, or my flesh and still makes a conscious decision to run the race with me. Christ instructs the husband to love his bride as Christ loves the church. The last time I checked in the Bible, the church was the most rebellious, stubborn, insubordinate, weak yet resilient bride. Christ STILL loved her even when she played the harlot and walked away from Him.

Which brings me to my next point, marriage advice. I shared the post below on Facebook during a trying time in my marriage. This is a perfect example of me reminding myself of what marriage is and what it is not.

People ALWAYS ask me for marriage advice. I'm usually reluctant and the main reason for that is because every marriage is different and I've only been married for a few short years. However, one thing I have come to realize that's the same across the board is "something's" will not be revealed about the both of you until AFTER the I do, because you do not have grace for those things in your dating/courtship process. It doesn't matter how long you date, it is the marriage that UNLOCKS THE GRACE to handle what's on the other side of "I do". A wise woman once told my husband and me, "you two are anointed for each other's MESS." (Best advice by far, it sticks). 🤯🤯🤯 She didn't say anointed to minister together or anointed to be a power couple, she said 🗣ANOINTED FOR WHEN YOUR FLESH AND THOSE SOUL WOUNDS SPRING UP IN VARIOUS SEASONS. You're anointed to press through, anointed to love, anointed to face it and not run".🙃🙃🙃
With that being said, you WILL NOT crack the code to marriage in your singleness. 😊 Some things are reserved for you to learn in your active role as wife or husband. You will have grace as long as you submit to the Lord. In singleness/courtship consider your own heart. Don't spend all of your time trying to get to know someone else. Spend your time getting to know you. How do you respond to pressure? Do you hold grudges? How do you forgive? Do you shut down in situations? What makes you come alive? What brings you joy? Do you reject God when your heart is disappointed? Do you have a problem with submission (you can ask your boss, pastors, and parents to help you answer that one 😂) What do you believe about submission? How do you handle other peoples brokeness? What do you believe about marriage? Etc. Your singleness is for you and God to get somethings established and solid. Getting to know your future spouse is definitely imperative, but you will be faced with your own brokenness mainly and how YOU respond to theirs. Married folk, the grace is there. 🙃😁When you read this, PRAY FOR MARRIAGES. Thx.”

With that being said and shared, I am so honored to be a part of something so awesome. My marriage is indeed bringing me closer to God. It is highlighting my weaknesses and giving me a chance to lay them at the feet of Jesus. I have never been so honored that God wants to use me in such a way to even bring one of His sons closer to Him as well. God cares about us, He cares about our marriages and He cares about the eternal resting place for our souls.

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Ashlee V. Grant

Ashlee is a wife, mother, entrepreneur, and most importantly, daughter of the Most-High God. Ashlee is committed to leading a life that reflects her gratitude for the redeeming grace extended to her through Yeshua and continually seeks to assist those around her with doing the same. Ashlee has a BA in psychology and an MPA from Kentucky State University. She and her husband Jerod, have one small child and reside in Central, Ohio.